Happy Halloween

Well, not much in the way of Halloween here in China, but that doesn't mean I can't get in the spirit. I'm considering buying one of the pumpkin-esque squashes at my local market and seeing if I couldn't put the knife to it creatively… they're a bit small, and I've no idea that their insides even remotely resemble the scoop-outable guts of a good jack-o-lantern… but there's hope. I am curious what my neighbours would do if I put a bedsheet over my head, cut out two little eyes and begged them to put candy in my pillow case.

Here's a little Hallowing grooviness my buddy Justin was kind enough to share with me, and me with you:

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,

when behind him he hears:

BUMP…

BUMP…

BUMP…

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP…

BUMP…

BUMP…

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him

FASTER…

FASTER…

BUMP…

BUMP…

BUMP…

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping…

clappity-BUMP…

clappity-BUMP…

clappity-BUMP…

on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…

and,

the coffin stops.

5 Responses

  1. Sure an Iggy Pop look-alike fish-out-of-water-skinny-dipping with RawHeadRex is spooky, but not nearly as spooky our Halloween. Ryan, got any cats? Let us Americans show you what to do with them.

  2. Haha.. skinny and naked… I can see the Iggy Pop ref. for sure. Just finished reading your halloween lecture experience. Yikes! You Americans… bunch of Mexican fattening, cat killing, satan worshiping, Bush electing, cider drinking weirdos! 😉

  3. I was thinking of that very joke this morning! Think it works better when told out loud though! See if Maggie gets it!

  4. Quite literally seconds before you clicked "Submit Comment" I finished telling her the joke. I had her SOOO scared she jumped when she heard the punchline just out of anticipation. Her language skills took her another few seconds before she pieced the joke together.

  5. Hey Josh – Duuude! I'm a cat, Chinese by birth, but bi-lingual, so obviously not American.  Come round our neighbourhood some dark night, and show me what you do to cats.  I'll show you what we do to cat-killers.  Happy Halloween   …… mmmmmm…… Yum yum

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