• First, a big mazel tov for peer-see‘s Josh and Emily, who have just had a beautiful little girl – born in China, no less.
• With my heart all warmed, I headed over to fiLi’s World for a laugh. His recent post, “Conan O’Brien Hates Asia“, sums up all the Asian countries Conan has attempted to offend in his campaign to piss off the world. Highlights:
  

  China

  If you’re gonna be in prison, it might as well be for no reason.

  Japan

  Last century, you brutally defeated China and Russia. This century, you make Hello Kitty toasters.

  South Korea

  Your biggest natural resource is coal, which gives dog a nice, smokey flavour.

  Mongolia

  Where Chinese freedom meets Siberian comfort.

  Taiwan

  Oh wait, you’re not a real country. You’re China’s bitch!

  And I should add:

  Canada

  With massive overpopulation threatening the globe, Canadians maintain a population of less than 35 million. How do they do it? Zero sex appeal!

• So, I was in good spirits when I learned from The Granite Studio that the China Daily has reported up to 50% of Beijing’s water-cooler water is “fake, or not as pure as its manufacturers claim.” For anyone not in China, a point should be said to clarify that this is what we all drink. Water-coolers (heaters, really, but then there’d be name conflicts), like rice cookers, are a staple appliance in near every middle- to upper-class home. And if it’s fake in Beijing, well, there’s not likely to be better quality controls outside the Capital.

  On the upside, despite the complete lack of any sort of quality control in this country, and an unnatural desire to trade public safety for a fist full of dollars, I’m still living.

  I’m just going to do my best to avoid toothpaste, baozi, water, seafood, tires, pet food, mobile phones, and Jesus fish. Of course, I sort of avoided that last one to begin with.

  For anyone that has a choice (as in, you’re not living in China), check out a whole lot more reasons not to buy Chinese products in Who Suck‘s Dangerous Products Made In China 2007 Timeline (HT PandaPassport.com).

  The thing is, all this coverage of China’s poor quality control is just the News du Jour. It’s not that China’s quality standards suddenly dropped. It’s just being reported. A scary thought for those of us that have been here for an amount of time edging on “long”. Anyone else wondering how much mercury is now in their system that wasn’t there before?

• And if that wasn’t enough to get my spirits down, nothing like a lake full of dead fish to pin it to the mat.

  I found the story via ImageThief, who makes reference to China’s other recent lake disaster, the algae smothering of polluted Tai Lake. This was much closer to home, as Suzhou touches Tai Lake, and Wuxi, the city most affected, is only 30 odd kilometres away.

With my demise seemingly eminent, I think I’ll go re-visit those first two links and chipper up a bit…

Oh, and Happy Friday the 13^th!