We must live with it, so we can either ignore it or just make a bit of fun out of it.

I got two kids and my wife is chinese. You can imagine, folks taking pics, some of them asking for permission, some of them without a word, hellos on your face and on your back, etc, etc.

I already came to terms with it and accepted that i cannot change China, and that i am living in China.

I do not get angry at that anymore, just shoot a smile back and kindly refuse if someone wants to take a picture or start a simple talk.

I’m just referencing to how “waiguo” is constantly refered to as though it was a place in existance, with a language and culture of its own. It usually involves things like “in waiguo country, you all (stereotypical behavior), you all eat (stereotypical food), etc. I just like to remind people I’m not from the great country of Foreignton, which doesn’t even exist.

“I like to say 外国不是一个国家”

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您醉了吗?

7:30 in the morning in the metro. I dangereous to speak with me in the morning before having my coffee. Anyways, a shanghainese (naturally) was crazy enough:

“Oh, you have nice watch.”

“Perdon, que has dicho?”

“Gooda watch!”

“Puedes repetirlo, no te entendido”

“Oh you speak the english good, you can talk slow please so i understand”

You got it? Its a true situation. I guess the end was somekind of that ridiculous chinese-face thing…

Dear Chinese, please note this into your red book of wisdom: In Spain we speak spanish. In Germany they speak german, In Italy they speak italian, In greece they speak greek, In France they speak french, In Portugal they speak portuguese…I know it must sound like an incredible lie and fairy tale but it is true!

For daily life, english is nothing in Europe. Dont believe those agencies who cash you much money for transfering you to Europe and tell you: With english you can do everything, everywhere in Europe. An ex-workmate of mine really believe that and made a big mistake. Its not China where you can survive with english only.

But if you are among young people who might hear basic english like “Hellloo Chinese”

Very important you hellos:

Most Foreigners in China must speak english, but that doesn´t mean that its spoken in our home countries. Unbelievable but true!!!

Also: Speak Chinese, no problem. I will then use you to practice my chinese. X-D.

Also: The world is much bigger and complex than just china on one side and english, coca cola, KFC, Yanke…eh..North-american cowboys, hollywood, fork and knife, ham and eggs for breakfast on the other side.

Europe will teach you a good lession about diversity, where even neighbouring cities have their own dialect and customs!

P.S.: The spoken does not imply to all chinese. I know many good chinese friends of mine who know that there is world beyond CCTV 9…

And twice I’ve had idiots on the side of the road decide I must be Russian and then yell at me in English.

And I fully approve of replying to “Halloooooo!”s in any language but English. I’ve been known to reply in French, Spanish, German, Russian, Maori, Samoan….. On one memorable occasion with two other Kiwis in a field outside Yangshuo when we ran into a tour group full of hallooos, we ran through all those languages and more and speak even one single word of English. Fun.

Whenever I have a bad mood, I reply in spanish, causing them to run away while watching me like a double-extra weird lao wai.
So sick. They think that every country, every nation, every fucking foreigner speaks english. And they think (they really do, and I have an incredible proof from a chinese student who went to Europe..), thinking that english is the laowai language, everywhere and anywhere. And everyone speaks it. You speak english? THE WORLD IS YOURS! *lol* Actually, the languages of the future are spanish and mandarin. Official Statistics say that.

So: “Hellloooooo lao wai, nice to meet you. My english name is Super-Peanut”

“¿QUE DICES?. ¿Hablas español?”

silencio…

8-|

bai bai…
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There is hope: The first spanish only language school opened in Shanghai.